Just Me: The Kratik Malhotra Blog

There are things that I hate to talk but at times, you feel you gotta man up…

United were 3-2 up when Craig Bellamy scored for City in the final minute in what looked like had assured the ‘noisy neighbours’ a certain point. Former Manchester United striker Teddy Sheringham has described United chasing a game as the most beautiful sight in football and his statement was underlined with what happened next.

"It's only as far as Ryan Giggs, who placed one for Michael Owen…Oh this is incredible. Beyond added time, Michael Owen with his first Old Trafford goal for Manchester United makes the place erupt!" 

Michael Owen, boyhood Everton fan, who had been a Liverpool hero for years, came off the bench to score a decisive winner for United in the great Manchester derby at Old Trafford. As Owen scored, I slid on my drawing-room floor and screamed out loud in amazement. It was incredible. Hardly anyone expected it but almost every United fan wished for it. But again, you “never say ‘never’ with Manchester United.”

Everyone goes through tough times, which in turn makes you a stronger person and the time round-about the Manchester derby was one of the tougher times that I have ever been through. My school was giving me trouble regarding my engineering final year project and my grandfather, who had always been my inspiration (and still is), wasn’t doing well health-wise. Its times like those that watching Man United win seemed as the only source of delight.

After the win, I went into my room, taunted Man City fans over the internet; spoke to some of my co-Man United friends and discussed how we were going to win the title again that year. It was a fantastic moment.

I was sitting in my room when my father received a call and went like, “How? I can’t believe this. I just spoke to him a while ago.” As the shock waves passed through every cell in my body, I looked down to pray and wish that my worst fear hadn’t come true. My father soon delivered the news that my grandfather was no more. I didn’t shout, I didn’t yell, I kept my voice to myself but I cried my heart out.

It was tough. Some of my most fond childhood memories have been with my grandfather and losing him was a blow. It was one of those moments when you start feeling cold, your heart starts pumping faster, when you feel like puking and sleeping at the same time. It’s the worst feeling of the lot. I couldn’t believe what had happened. It was strange.

I always say, “It’s a great day when United wins.” Not always.

Never had I ever experienced emotions that are such poles apart and I wish I never experience those again.

This may sound abrupt but I don’t want to talk of the following day.

The next one week was one of the toughest weeks I have ever had in my life. I was alone at home in Pune for the next couple of days, having had to leave the very next day after my grandfather’s funeral because my college was screwing me over my BE Engineering project. Even home becomes a terribly lonely place when you are missing people. On my engineering college’s behalf, it was a rather inhumane, selfish and vastly disappointing behavior that must be put under heavy scrutiny. I have never spoken about this in the past and I never will speak about this in the future but at times, some things deserve to be put right.

I give my 100% in whatever I am doing and I hardly regret things. The biggest regret in my life (and I share this in each of my spirituality courses) goes back to 2009, the final time that I had spoken to my grandfather, who told me to mail him the newspaper cuttings of the articles that I had written, working as a journalist. I thought, “Who mails stuff? I will instead take the cuttings by myself to Indore when I go back during Diwali and show it to him personally.” Three weeks on and he was no more. I guess that’s how life goes sometimes and all you can do is learn.

My biggest lesson of the entire experience was to value friends, family and in general, human life more, and to contribute as much as I possibly could to the society. When you feel like talking, “talk”; when you miss someone, say, “I miss you”; when you want to express your love, say, “I love you.” Why hesitate? As Guruji (Sri Sri Ravishankar) says, “Our mind sticks to the negative.” We think twice before doing the right thing than doing the wrong thing.

As for my grandfather, right now, I know that he is in a great place, playing rummy with God in heaven and beating him. In about two hours and 46 minutes, we will be playing Clemson in what is one of the biggest games of the season and I know he is up there looking out for me and our Seminoles. After all, he is probably the greatest reason why I love sports. To be true, I am no one when it comes to this football team, and it's coaches and the players who make the team win titles but its his and God's grace that in a country where I was not born, I have found a little home in this football team.

Let me just write this. For once, let’s all celebrate life; let’s all celebrate whom we have and let’s all feel grateful for whatever we have experienced and whoever we have become. We, in ourselves, are unique and each one of us is perfect in his/her own right. So, stop judging, start accepting and begin spreading love :)

We all can make a difference. Smile irrespective of whatever.

“Misery is inevitable but suffering is a choice.”

Jai Gurudev :)

Love,

Kratik