Just Me: The Kratik Malhotra Blog

In the past eighteen days, I have been to two cities, met hundreds of people, made plenty of new friends, learned what’s smiling again and most importantly, realized the fact that the connection which once was, will always be.

When I was a student, I had promised myself that once I start earning and can afford to do an Art of Living Advance/Silence course, I would go ahead and do it. Well, by April 2015, I had been earning for almost an year and two months, but for some reason, I had kept on postponing myself in taking the program. Either I felt that it wasn’t time then or I was trying to save money, or maybe I had accepted straight up that I only have to be good at my job and not brilliantly rounded. Irrespective of the reason, I was a dumbass.

…and then, something magical happened: I got my tax refund!

It was one of those times, when you think, “Okay, what do I want to do the most with this money?” In Robin Van Persie’s words, the little boy inside of me said, “Get your backside to an Art of Living Silence course.” However, there were still doubts in my mind when I realized how much the travel and course would cost, so, I told my mind to ‘shut up and go to bed’ as I started looking through the list of courses all around the United States. I soon came across a magical name, Michael Fischman. Michael, the famous author, was teaching a course in Boston and having heard so much about him, there was no way I could have not registered for the program.

Knowing how fragile my mind is, I booked my flight tickets in no time as I told myself, “Flights are non-refundable, boy! You can’t get out of this now!” It felt like I had won over my mind, at least for that moment. Soon, I registered for the silence program with Michael and left for Boston a couple of weeks on.

My silence was incredible. It was my sixth Art of Silence course but the first one in which I cried during silence. There were too many realizations, too many lessons, too much knowledge and a massive amount of gratitude for everything that I had received. It was the first time that I saw my mind getting cleansed, little by little. It was like watching the negative impressions that were stuck on my mind getting removed and being winded away. It was fantastic.

("It Is Time" - Rafiki)

By the end of the advance course, my smile was back. It just felt like everything was perfect and trust me when I say this, there was hardly a negative thought in my head. It felt like home coming from a spiritual standpoint. It felt like He was saying, “It is time!” (In Rafiki’s voice from Lionking). It's fine if you call me insane.

A couple of weeks on, Guruji, Sri Sri Ravishankar-ji, was coming to Boone, NC and a friend of mine, whom I had met the evening before we played the Hurricanes in Miami in Novemeber, asked me if I would like to drive with her up the mountains from Florida. I paused for a second and then replied, “Duh!” I mean, I could have said all the duhs and dahs, and acted like it wasn’t a big deal but in truth, I couldn’t believe that I was actually going to meet Him. It was like magic. I mean, after the advance course, I felt like He had said, “It is time!” and then, I was going to see Him. It was miraculous.

She picked me up from Jacksonville and we were off to Boone doing satsang on the way. At times, that satsang even had Ricky Martin, Enrique Iglesias and Backstreet Boys making special appearances! To all the girls reading this, I am still straight…just saying! We shared so many Guru Stories that even her car would have felt grateful.

Few hours on and here we were - on top of the mountains - at the Art of Living Retreat Center. As we were entering the Boone Ashram, I yelled out, “I am home!”

It was phenomenal. I just couldn’t stop smiling. Actually, I realized that it wasn’t only me; everybody was smiling. For some reason, everyone was just so happy. It wasn’t Bangalore but it was divine. Guruji was leading a knowledge series, and I and her waited for him to get done and come out of the meditation hall. When I saw Him, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in front of me but I didn’t lose my sense. An Art of Living teacher from Mumbai had once told me that His rate of motion is directly proportional to your excitement, so, I was to be as calm as possible.

I started walking behind him and on the way to his kutir when he turned around and said, “Hi” to me, waving his hand. I smiled as wide as I possibly could. I mean he had never said ‘hi’ to me in such a fashion. It was awesome. From then on in, we followed him around wherever he went and I asked/told him one of the things that I wanted to tell him, partially.

Popping In From The Right Corner

The next day, it so happened that I had received permissions to go inside his kutir but by the time my turn came to speak to Him, He had to go and lead the knowledge series. As He was passing me by, He waited for a split second, smiled at me, patted my on my right bicep and then, left. So for the other thing, I knew He had blessed me even if neither of us said anything verbally.

Later that day, Saturday, the satsang in the Ashram was incredible. I have never smoked but if that wasn’t a high, I don’t know what is. Guruji’s talk was amazing. I had never heard Him speak the way He spoke. It was superb. The energy inside the meditation hall in the Ashram was immense. An hour on, it was breathtaking coming to terms with what I had experienced.

                               

The Saturday Satsang

As I was leaving the Ashram, getting ready to go back to Tallahassee, I knew what I was going to miss the most: the energy, the light if you want to call it. It was my first trip to the Boone Retreat Center in about two-and-a-half years and it was special because it made me reaffirm that there can be no place like Ashram. It’s a place where the positive energy lifts your energy by manifolds and you automatically start feeling happy. I am not joking when I say this: your happiness level is like you have won a national championship or a world cup, and you are that happy every moment.

The more I look back at the trip, the more I realize God’s grace. I mean meeting my friend in Miami was a miracle. You know, I was so happy to meet a fellow Art of Living volunteer that we actually did a satsang on the South Beach. I planning two trips within two weeks of one-another was a miracle. Meeting Guruji from so close was a miracle. Making so many friends on my trip was a miracle. Getting a ride back with the volunteers from West Palm was a miracle. Having an ‘Ashram love’ story like one I have every single time was a miracle. Missing my bus, but still getting back to Tallahassee by Sunday night was a miracle. I coming ‘home’ is a miracle.

During silence in Boston, it was like He had asked me if I would like to come back home and I replied, “Yes, Guruji.” 18 days on, now, I am truly home.

I don’t believe in miracles…I rely on them.

Jai Gurudev :)

Love,

Kratik

Words, they often tell the story,

But they are entwined with feelings so brittle that they change so readily.

Pictures, they often let you relive the moments,

But they pull you into the past ever so easily.

Memory, it never forgets what it has to remember,

But in its own mesmerizing way, it keeps you attached, aimlessly.

Silence, it helps you experience that empty space,

But, it’s that space which makes you come to terms with reality, pleasantly.

How often it happens that you can look back, pat yourself and say, “Yes, I have lived the dream.” If you ask me, I don’t even know the definition of a ‘dream’, but I wouldn’t be shy in saying that I have lived it in this past year.

December 27, 2011 was when I landed in the United States with a heart full of dreams. Who was I? No, I was not Spiderman! I was a small time soccer journalist, who wrote for the largest soccer website in the world, who was told he had ‘fans’ (bullsquat, I say!), who marketed one of the biggest soccer clubs in India, who hosted games in front of a thousand of people in mammoth stadiums, who did a little bit of soccer analysis for Real Time Sportscast and who believed that making a person meditate and spiritual knowledge can transform a person’s life. Kratik, who? Even I didn’t know. In fact, I am still discovering. But irrespective of whoever I was, I wanted to be someone bigger. I had heard about the ‘American dream’ and I wanted to live the American dream.

When I began my journey at the Florida State University, the ‘Seminole feeling’ didn’t take as much time to settle in as within the first couple of weeks, I was on the board, working as a soccer analyst for the university’s soccer team. Having prior experience with soccer obviously helped as I got to work on my dream software, Prozone. Unlike my time with my undergrad degree in engineering, grades at FSU were never a problem. Yes, I worked my socks off but it was all God’s grace that grades panned out better than I had expected them to.

With time, I met some amazing lads. Soccer fans, F1 fans, guys who taught me American football and guys with whom I experienced the FSU life, you know what I mean ;) As time passed, I realized that I was actually doing well. But there was something still missing and my intuition told me that it was my will to make a difference, my will to make people meditate, my will to spread Sri Sri’s message, my will to transform lives. And it was all God’s grace that I managed to do all that. How? He has his own ways.

I got a teaching assistantship for two of my four semesters at FSU! I taught four one-credit hour courses in ‘Stretch and Relaxation’. I taught yoga, meditation, the secret to smile…In all, I basically taught a spirituality course. Lol. Why?

I once asked my spirituality teacher, “Why do you teach all this? Why don’t you feed poor people by the money (that you charge) instead of giving out all this knowledge?” And his reply was one that gave me a path to walk on. He said, “We can, but if I give them food for 2000 bucks, how many meals will I be able to serve? 25 meals for a person? Instead, I give them knowledge, it is priceless and lasts with them for a lifetime. What do you think is better?” I remember pausing and saying, “Wow!” Knowledge like this and people like him have truly helped me shape my life.

So, when I look back, and ask myself, “Did I do the right thing in teaching yoga, meditation and spirituality, and not just not normal stretching?” Absolutely! Spirituality is very different from religion, and I highlighted that. In my courses, I never spoke religion. In fact, I told Christians to believe in Jesus and know that he is taking care of them; I told Muslims to have faith and believe in Allah and know that he is there, and I told Hindus to believe in Ram and Krishna and know that he is ensuring that his/her life leads to perfection. Same implies to Jews and Buddhists as well. I just spoke one language and it was called spirituality, which revolved around the fact that our lives are taken care of and that we do not need to worry.

I also taught few stress relief sessions at the Big Bend Homeless Coalition. It was amazing! The expressions of people after coming out of meditation were priceless. I should have filmed a Mastercard commercial right there. Lol. Those homeless people were so special and under enormous stress, more than what a normal person can even imagine, and making them meditate was an exceptional experience.

Okay, back to FSU. It was the fall semester, the end of August, when I met some of the finest chaps in America. They weren’t the Michael Jordons and the Lionel Messis of this world, but who they were, were truly wonderful people with great hearts, who knew how to celebrate every moment, how to be supportive and how to live their life to perfection, and that’s what made them bigger and better than even Jordon, Ronaldo or Messi. They were about 25 in number, maybe more. They laughed, they enjoyed, they partied, they lived in the present moment, they…just lived every moment as it came and in the process, taught me how life was to be lived at FSU. In fact, when I look back now, I would say that they were the missing link in my time jigsaw (if there is anything like that lol) at FSU. It was them who were the reason that, when I think about all those times of the fall, it lets me believe that I lived my semester to perfection. I am still friends with them and it feels like an absolute blessing.

Meanwhile, I had applied to a number of places for my internship and I got in to my dream company, doing my dream internship: IMG Academy and an internship in Performance Technology and Sponsorship. I still remember sitting, with a friend of mine, as a marketer in the parking lot of our team’s stadium and saying, “How cool would it be to get to IMG?” And here I was, at IMG!

I still have over a month left of my internship at IMG and during my time here, I have not only worked with some of the top American football college athletes, but also, I have got a chance to meet Thierry Henry, Tim Cahill, Floyd Sam and Juninho. It’s been awesome and it’s all God’s grace.

Now, why did I write about all this? Well, I don’t know. Maybe because I just wanted to. Actually, no. There was something that has really been biting me. What is it? Not the most heart-warming thing, off course. The thing is, in ten days, I am going back to Tallahassee, and it could be the last time that I see so many people. Why? Because if I don’t get a job, I go back to India. Marketer for a year and a half, journalist for two years and a sports analyst for over two years, am I not worth a job? I don’t know. But as I had taught in my courses, my Guru’s message, my life is taken care of, so, I need not worry. At times, I give myself a lesson. Lol

But if this is the last time that I meet some of my friends, especially those 25 or so fun-loving mates of mine, what I can certainly publish is that I will miss them to extremity.

PPPPSSSSSHHHHHHHH…enough of getting emotional. Bigger picture. As I had said, “I came to America to live the American dream,” and thanks to God’s grace I lived the American dream. Frankly speaking, I don’t even know what the American dream is, but my experience couldn’t have been bettered.

For making my time a truly memorable one, a special ‘thank you’ to Miao, Shuai, Paul Sheffield, Eric Parks, Pamella, Erin, Laura, Ellen, Alicia, Brittany, Katharina, Smay, Justin Garner, Parker, Sarah H, Carlton, Andrew Young, Jim, Steve, Kristen,  Nindiya, Gary Galvez and Jennifer, Matt Cline, Caroline, Amanda G., Max, Christian, Mikey, Lauren B., Sara, Del Toro, Nicky Yang, Ashley, Stephanie, Lance and Tiffany, Joshua Peterson, Nick Downey, Ozi, Neslihan, Kosuke and Yue Ji, and my MBA buddies: Lancer, Claire, Tony, Albert, JR, Justin, Julian and Dan, and my mates who have graduated: Ryan Pekerek, Ryan Pham, Logan Liles, Justin Mason, Sid sir, Javier and Wang Suk, and all the Indians who have always stood by, and all the teachers…all of you are true rockstars and the reason why FSU students rock the world.

Love,

Kratik